I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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