At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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