i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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