so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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