Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
