so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
