"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
