dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
