Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
