it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
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