i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
