Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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