Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
