I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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