Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
