I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She announced her abortion via fbk
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
