apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
