Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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