There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
