the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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