You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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