He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
