Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He shit in the fireplace
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize