i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My penis needs a shock collar
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
