Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
