"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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