Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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