you're like a bully in the Christmas story
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The air was thick with penises
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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