weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize