I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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