Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
