Screwed.edu
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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