my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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