It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
