I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
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party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
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If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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