The maid of honor just puked.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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