Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
