It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Shame - the story of my life.
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