we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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