Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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