it hurts more in the daytime
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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