Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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