PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I just threw up on my dentist
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize