We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
