I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
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I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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