we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
where are my eyebrows?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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