I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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