I am in a vortex of obligation.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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