theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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