She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
