they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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