You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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