i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
