This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
