i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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