wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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