If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
