I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
His nipple licking is glorious
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