Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
