how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
