im drinking this country out of the recession.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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